Thursday, October 27, 2011

With All My Heart (╥_╥)

WHY ME ???

She loved him with her all. It’s safe for her to say that.
Never once did she think of giving up. But seriously why did it happen to be this way?

Finding out he didn’t love her hurts her a lot. She didn’t know if she wasn’t in his heart at all. But knowing that now, he’s with someone else totally put her down. She was like, devastated with her own thoughts. She tried to make herself believe that he’s still with her. She doesn’t want to believe the fact that he’s with someone else because she’s afraid of the pain. Pathetic.

She gave him everything, she loved him and she cared for him and she did the best she could possibly have done for him. He even said that she was the best thing ever happened to him. But, why is it so easy for him? Yeah, not all love stories ends with happy endings.

The thing they both had was definitely the best thing that has happened to her. It’s really sad and hard for her to face the fact that this has ended. As much as she wants to fix this whole thing and just become normal people who are absolutely in love, she can’t run away from reality ….from the fact that it’s over. He’s gone. And now, he’s with someone else.

If so, she guess he’s just not the one for her.

But why does it really have to happen this way? Its like love is not a
beautiful thing anymore. It eats her up inside and throw the good part of her away and in the end she don’t even remember who she really is.

It’s scary when she has to live the next day thinking about the person she
always love and to actually know that at the back of her mind, he’s happy
with someone else while she’s still sobbing over him.

Knowing that her loved one don’t feel like what she felt toward him made her think that it’s a total waste to remember him at all. She should have moved on by this moment, but she can’t. He’s special in his own way. She never felt this way before. Yes, she had been in a relationship a couple times before, but things before were never as special as this. She loved him with all her heart and she don’t know if she’s going to meet another person that’s as special as him. She wishes she will. But she always prayed to God that He will never erase any memory of him in her head because she doesn’t want to forget the best thing ever happened in her life.

She does not ask for diamonds nor did she ask for gold. All she ever wanted was for him to love her. Sometimes when she think about all this, is it worth it? Is it really worth the tears? Worth the pain? Worth the waiting?

Her life has passed her by with nothing but a blur. She had been hurt to by her loved ones and she’s not really ready to see what’s in store for her. She doesn’t even want to know because she’s afraid that she won’t be able to bare the pain.
It’s enough. Let her deal with it before any other guy hurt her again. It’s pitiful that she can’t accept another guy as a new lover since she already fall in love with him.

The thing she doesn’t get is why she can’t let him go as easy as he did. He let her go just like that. Wouldn’t it be easy? Despite of all the things that
happened, she just can’t. Maybe it’s just her. Deep in her heart, she don’t
want to let go but do you think she have any other choices? She’s sick and
tired of crying so hard until it starts to hurt. She’s afraid to think what
will happen next. Is that really fair?

People always say, sometimes you think the person u love the most will be the one that protects you from everything. But in true fact, people you love the most always end up hurting you the most.

He had proved that right to her, just like her family did, just like her friends did, just like everyone around her that she loved did.

And all she wanted to say to him is:

Thank you for your time & love. Thank you for giving me happiness. In time, I’ll
let you go. But if I can’t, I promise that you won’t get bothered by me. May
God bless you and her. I’ve been missing you everyday since u left.

the days goes by,

wishes he was here.

In Memory : Oct 2005-Apr 2010

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